Art for Healing
It was started from just seeing, finally practicing. It began as a hobby, and now it has become a habit.
From a name given by my father and mother, Raden Ayu Elita Putri, I was born as the fourth child of this ordinary family. People who know me must be surprised; why does my name have “Raden”? Am I the descendant of a noble? I do not know for sure, but my parents believe this name is a blessing. As evidenced by the entire name of my extended family, the children were given this name. Likewise, I am sure of that.
When I was five years old, I often saw my sister doing her schoolwork. Since I was the last child and still very young, my sister saw me as a nuisance. Therefore, I can never play long with my sister because they are busy with school.
However, one day, I saw my sister painting on a square glass. I noticed how thorough and focused my sister was on her task. From that moment, I felt like I wanted to paint like what my sister did. My sister is very good at drawing; she always has bright ideas. Instead, I could not do anything good back then.
When I enrolled kindergarten, my teacher gave me a drawing assignment. I was not sure if I did it right, but for some reason, all I remember at that moment was the teacher’s praise for me. My drawings were said to be good and very lively. At that time, I felt something inside me that wanted to make me practice drawing.
When I graduated from kindergarten, my sister took me with her boyfriend to eat together. There, I was introduced by someone. She is the younger sister of my sister’s boyfriend. Her name’s Nanda, and she’s very good at drawing. Everything she draws is so beautiful. I followed Nanda’s way of illustration and practiced to be as good as her.
I often played at her house. I sometimes borrowed drawing tools and drew at her home because it was so fun. Finally, we drew a lot of things, which made me very happy. However, I was still not as good as Nanda. I still needed a lot of practice to be as good as her.
Finally, I enrolled elementary school. At that time, I met an adorable friend. She was also interested in drawing, and we often drew together. Honestly, we drew light comics, and it was amusing to share ideas. Until then, my elementary school displayed our comics on the wall magazine, and everyone saw it. Ah, that makes me so nostalgic. It feels like it just happened yesterday.
In addition to drawing comics, my elementary school’s fine arts teacher was happy to invite me to compete. I also participated in painting, drawing, coloring , and other competitions. I won some of the competitions. However, I did not think I was too happy to participate in the competition.
The drawing competition made me very dizzy and nauseous because I was only given a little time to finish many things. The pressure made me sick, and I did not want to draw for some time. Then, in middle school, I did not participate in the drawing/painting competition. I tried to focus on my practice and my desire to make comics. However, it was not easy.
When I was in middle school, I listened to K-Pop songs. That’s when I started to find out about BTS. Suddenly, I got inspiration. I began to draw their characters, though not all of them. I opened an Instagram account and put all my artworks there. At that time, my followers reached 1.000, and I also had many fan-artist friends both from Indonesia and from abroad. Unfortunately, the fun only lasted two years. When I started high school, I stopped drawing.
I stopped. Not entirely, but I was not drawing so intensely anymore.
I forgot my hobby to study and gain as much knowledge as possible to pass the National Selection to Enter State Universities at that time. Indeed, I did several things besides drawing; namely, I socialized more in my life than through social media, got 1st place in class for three years in a row, participated in poster design competitions, and so on.
However, something was missing.
I feel that my three years of high school were not very good.
Suddenly, I was offered to participate in a painting competition by my high school art teacher. At first, I refused because I could not paint on the canvas. However, by force, I tried and got 2nd place. At that time, the feeling returned as if telling me not to forget my hobby.
My mind was much calmer; I was delighted and excited at that time. Then, I joined the drawing competition again. Unfortunately, I did not get any prize. However, I was happy and proud. I could draw again freely.
I finally filled the lost feeling.
Until the time came when I finally had to face reality, I failed in the National Selection to Enter State Universities acceptance at my favorite campus. My heart was broken. I thought I was a useless child who only spent time playing around. I even thought that I should not have to live because it would only disappoint my parents at that time.
I had no desire to study for several months, and eating was tough. I spent my time drawing anything. I felt refreshed after that. Then, someone told me that I had to get up. This situation would turn around because I am said to be a lucky person. Luckily, I could still take the Joint Selection to Enter State Universities exam and the Independent Examination. Finally, I followed everything I could and passed the test and enrolled at my favorite university, Universitas Gadjah Mada.
There are many unexpected things in this world. However, I did regret what I did earlier. I forgot my favorite hobby, which is drawing, for three years. Then, failing the based entrance exam for universities and blaming myself because I was playing around. I have tried my best at that time; however, perhaps I was not doing as maximum as I could.
An art finally saved me from grief. When I fail, I spill everything on the artwork. When I am sad, I spill everything on the artwork. Art can heal me. Now, I will try again. Just like what I said at the beginning: from seeing to practicing — from just hobby, becoming a habit. That is art for me.
As a result of this, I attach my artworks:
It is my first time drawing in digital art.
I like drawing semi-realism back then!
I enjoyed drawing this man so much! 😊
